I have just come across this community and I'm thrilled,It is so hard to find other only children who understand how hard it can be. I'm 24 and grew up as an only child with a single parent mother,by my dad (our relationship is....) I have a 12 year old half brother who is in foster care and a 2 year old half sister I have never met. My relationship with my mother to the outside world is wonderful everyone sees her as some sort of heroine and me the poor child with issues. You know what they say about not knowing what goes on behind closed doors? My mother had some serious issues because of my grandmother and being the carer for her and me took it's toll,all of which for a young child I understood. Now that I'm older I understand that I was used alot of the time because she was lonely and isolated.I never knew where I stood, one minute she was suffocating and in my space then I was ignored.If I tried to get her to do things I was brutally shouted at and lived in fear.She did all the housework and if I tried to help god forbid! I grew up in my own world playing with my toys and reading books,I wasn't aware the house needed to be cleaned or anything like that.I wasn't allowed out and had to stay with her or had to stick with the children of the two friends she had.I don't have time to go into her drama filled (which I was heavily involved in) on off relationship with'X' (they are getting married next month) I was a good kid up untill 18 and 'X' came back into our lives and I had a late teenage rebellion. Today I struggle with my feelings about her and I struggle with everyday life and people.I find I have severe authority issues and am constantly struggling to catch up emotionally,connect with people and still looking for my mothers approval. I've been deemed selfish by some,I have sorted myself out alot in the past few years but I'm sorry I have to survive. I'm also aware I've picked up quite a few tendencies and have decided not to have any children of my own. I was watching a tv show a few months back where an only child had issues with his mother and It was something like 'He's an only child he may hate her guts but he can't live without her' understood completely.
Please don't flame me I just needed to get this out.
Um, I'm knocked up. Which means child numero dos. If anyone wants to take the community, fine. Doesn't sound like it's gonna happen though, as from last time. There are other only-child communities out there (and more active ones at that), so I'm probably just gonna delete here in a couple weeks.
So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.
Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.
We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.
And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.
And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.
I don't know how many of you read the "On Balance" blog at washingtonpost.com, but it generates A LOT of comments -- several hundred per day. Today's guest blogger wonders how in the world people ever make the decision to have more than one kid, because she's so busy with her only child. The discussion is already up to 117 comments, and lots of people are spilling their guts. You may wish to check it out.